Learning to see

This is truly a face only those who really see me could love. Please feel free to laugh as hard as I did when I first saw this pic. (I tried to make this picture as small as possible to lessen the scariness of it.) To explain, this is what you get when Kimball learns how to work the camera. I'll dedicate a whole post to her and how she sees life through the camera later. But this post is going to be about some deep thoughts (sorry, for anyone that actually reads this blog, but for journaling purposes this is what I'm choosing to write today, even though it's a little nervous to actually record these thoughts .)

To explain the title of the post, Jason and I were having a very in depth conversation about seeing people and loving/understanding them for who they are. So, I've been on this whole "seeing" idea. Then a TV show that we have been watching had a scenario where a mom was offered a chance to return to the career she left after she had kids. Her husband was very understanding with whatever she decided to do. The mom decided not to return to a pretty cool job after hearing about the adjustments that would have to be made. She said something about how she was needed at home. She got a little emotional (as I did while watching) as she explained that it was just nice to be seen differently than as a mom and wife.

Well, I got to pondering on this, and why it was so emotional for me to see this character on some TV show make this choice. I tried to explain to Jason (in my dolphin squeaky ugly crying voice) that I love being a mom and getting to stay home with my kids and that I wouldn't change it for the world. At the same time, it's hard to think that's all I'm seen as - another Mormon mom with short hair, driving a mini-van when I know I'm so much more... how can I get people to see that. Then, the thought came to be... who is it that I want to SEE me? And in turn, do I take the time to really see those around me? Or am I so busy trying to make other see how cool I think am? (Can I really learn to not be that self-centered? :-) I hope recognition is the first step.)

There's a couple of conclusions to these moments of pondering (but nothing is ever final in my head). Never in my life will I regret the choices I've made to be part of this mom in a mini-van. I should be so lucky to be included in as part of this bunch. I love being a wife and a mother, and I want my husband and kids to know how important they are to me!!! I love that I get to see them, for all of eternity!

It's also important to learn to see those around me and learn from them, and not dismiss anyone because I think I know more or am cooler for whatever reason. There is something to learn from everyone.

Ultimately, I know that Heavenly Father sees me for all that I am (good and bad) and more importantly who I can be. He doesn't care that I may look like all the other moms in my ward, or in the whole world. He sees me.